Author Archive for: Hillary

What Joyful Productivity Looks Like: The “Woodland Trail” Metaphor

Picture your writing (or other work) session as a stroll down a beautiful, sun-dappled woodland path. The path is wide and flat, the air warm and inviting, and on either side of you are banks of friendly plants alive with twittering birds. You’re having a marvelous time, and are moving at a relaxed, yet efficient pace – almost with a bit of a strut.

All of a sudden someone pops up out of the underbrush and joins you on your path: it’s your spouse, full of opinions on your current piece of writing.

Muir Woods PathYou walk on for a bit, your spouse yammering in your ear, not just about the writing, now, but about he/she wishes the house were better maintained and how you two never go out any more. It’s an unpleasant distraction, but you’re still mostly enjoying your walk.

Then, someone else pops up – your parents, who are worried about how your writing will reflect on them.

And then your siblings parachute down onto the path, asking when are you going to get a real job, and aren’t you embarrassed to be driving around in that old car?

Then, an old teacher or boss pops up, reminding you of how, “you really don’t do dialog very well.”

And an editor who, twenty years ago, described a story of yours as “jejune.” (Yes, people do remember cruel comments for decades!)

And the author of a newspaper article you recently read that proclaimed that the market for epic family sagas, like the one you happen to be writing, is “dead.”

Etc.

Soon, you’re walking at the center of a clamorous crowd, none of whom you’ve invited. Naturally, you’ll have a hard time working in the midst of their harping, carping and negativity.

The prolific handle things differently. They decide, with absolute authority (get it? author-ity), who comes on their trail, and how long they can stay. You’re only allowed on if they want you on, and the minute you’re no longer an asset to their process, you’re gone. (I like to imagine that “gone” being either in the form of a vaudeville hook whisking the offender off stage right, or a giant boot sending him into orbit.)

And no free passes: everyone has to pass the “asset” test, including partners, parents, kids, and “important” teachers, editors and the like. And those who fail the test a few times permanently lose their right to apply for entry.

They’re banished, baby.

And so the prolific have a wonderful time strolling peacefully and productivity through the hours, days and years of their work.

Adapted from my book The 7 Secrets of the Prolific. Buy now, and get instant ebook access.
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George Clooney on Mental Backpacks

George Clooney!

A few days ago I wrote this piece on how having a mental backpack can slow you down. How could I have forgotten this scene from the great movie Up in the Air? Thanks to Angela Beeching, author of Beyond Talent: Creating a Successful Career in Music for the reminder.

Now I’m going to go off and pretend GC paid a personal visit to my blog. :-)

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Wanted: Reviewers for Japanese edition of 7 Secrets of the Prolific

We’re just about done with the Japanese translation of my new minibook Perfectionism: Defeating the Enemy Within, and are looking for manuscript readers/reviewers. The book is about 30K words long. We’re looking for diverse readers: students, businesspeople, educators, artists, activists, etc. If you’re interested, please email.

No compensation, but you’ll get a free copy of the final book, of course. Plus, my appreciation!

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The Eroticization of Equality and Social Justice

Note from Hillary: this is a reprint of an article I published elsewhere a few years back that I wanted to archive on this blog. The topic remains timely; thanks for reading!

loveasthepracticeoffreedom1 

 

To begin with, check out the romantic presidential couple at the bottom of the right-hand group of pictures (near the date) in the above image. Isn’t it wonderful that we elected someone who, among his many other virtues, is so loving? That’s not a trivial thing, as psychologists Kathlyn and Gay Hendricks write in their article, The Obama Relationship: a Major Benefit Nobody’s Talking About.Okay, back to that first link. It’s to the Love as the Practice of Freedom conference, the first national meeting devoted to romance fiction and American culture. I attended it a couple of weeks ago at Princeton University, and had a blast being surrounded by academics, authors, editors, and readers who were not only passionate about their emerging field and its importance in the larger culture, but passionate about passion and its role in our lives and in society.

Progressives should pay serious, and respectful, attention to romance fiction, for two reasons:

First, as I hope to convince you — or seduce you into believing! — below, romance itself is a fundamentally progressive activity. If you take romance seriously, and don’t denigrate it just because patriarchy says you should (more on that, later, too), then you’ve got to take romance fiction seriously, since it’s a major expression is of romance — not to mention, romance’s usual wonderful destinations, love and sex — in our culture. More than a quarter of all books sold in the U.S. are romance fiction, and more than 64 million Americans read at least one romance novel each year (source: Romance Writers of America, RWA). Romance fiction is an enormous part of American culture, and an important transmitter of values.According to RWA, romance fiction is built around a central love story that culminates in an “emotionally-satisfying and optimistic ending.” The “bodice ripper” cliche is not just discredited (implying, as it does, lack of consent), but woefully out of date: the genre has burgeoned way beyond historical romances and now includes romantic suspense, erotica, crime, Christian, African American, teen, paranormal (all those sexy vampires won’t just categorize themselves, people!), science fiction, and lesbian / gay / bisexual / transgender (LGBT) subgenres, among many others.And it’s not just the books that are changing: RWA research says that in 2008 22% of romance readers were men, versus just 7% in 2002.

(click on arrow at right to continue!)
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Passive-Aggressive Poe

Apropos of nothing in particular…

passiveaggressiveraven
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New Page: How to Cope With Clueless Questions, Crass Comments, and Crazy Conjectures

Oh, the things people say to writers!

whywouldyoudothat

  • “What do you do?”
  • “What do you write?”
  • “Is there any money in that?”
  • “Where have you been published?”
  • “How’s the book coming along?” (Alt: “When will you be done with that thing?”)
  • “Why don’t you just sit down over a weekend and just finish it?”
  • “You should write like Stephen King!”
  • “You should put a vampire in it!”
  • “Why don’t you just go on [popular TV show]?” And, the ever popular,
  • “When are you going to get a real job?”

These are the kinds of (often, but not always) well-meaning questions, comments, and conjectures that bedevil writers. A little planning can help a lot in terms of coping, however. Below are strategies for: (a) increasing your tolerance for difficult questions; (b) maintaining conversational boundaries; and (c) dealing with hostility.

Read the rest here.
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Summer 2013 Workshops: Hartford, Hyannis, Boston, and Online!

Check out the Events Page and register soon!
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Academic Mug Shot

Those who need to know what this means will know what it means.

Those who need to know what this means will know what it means.

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Many Authors Also Can’t Figure Out How They Wound Up With Weird Covers on Their Books

textbookcover
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Michael Chabon on True Novelists versus “Rebel Angels”

From Wikipedia:

michaelchabon In a 2012 interview with Guy Raz of Weekend All Things Considered Chabon said that he writes from 10 p.m. to 3 a.m. each day, Sunday through Thursday. He tries to write 1,000 words a day. Commenting on the rigidity of his routine, Chabon said, “There have been plenty of self-destructive rebel-angel novelists over the years, but writing is about getting your work done and getting your work done every day. If you want to write novels, they take a long time, and they’re big, and they have a lot of words in them…. The best environment, at least for me, is a very stable, structured kind of life.”

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The Importance of Perception to Productivity Work

BackpackmanPeople carrying a backpack or other weight typically estimate hills to be much longer and steeper than they really are, to a greater degree than unencumbered people.

It also turns out, however, that if someone puts a backpack on your avatar you will experience virtual “hills” as being longer and steeper than they really are. This is crazy! Don’t forget that, since both the avatar and hill are virtual, no actual energy is being expended other than for keyboarding! But we perceive an energy expense.

However, the effect is true only if it’s an avatar customized by you to look like yourself. I’m guessing that’s because, in the process of interacting with your virtual doppelganger, you’re also identifying yourself with that online persona and getting invested in the outcome. One can therefore reasonably speculate that perfectionists, who tend to overidentify with their work and get overinvested in their outcomes, are literally creating for themselves more of an uphill climb!

And the clever researchers, Sangseok You and S. Shyam Sundar, managed to demonstrate that literally. Welcome to the fascinating future, where we’ll see a lot more actual testing and quantification and delineation of heretofore untestable psychological, philosophical, and even historical precepts, thanks to virtual reality!
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For Kids: Fern’s Writers Block (from Arthur)

Note Fern’s situational perfectionism, caused by:

*being told her story will be the “main event” at the next day’s Fiction Forum

*being told a famous author will be there

*being labeled as “creative.” Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck says that when you praise kids for attributes–by calling them, for instance, “smart” or “creative”–they freeze up, in part because they have no control over those attributes (which are vague, anyhow), and are afraid they won’t be able to repeat their success. Instead, praise them for effort–for concentration, effort, strategies–and for specific results, and you’ll likely motivate them to work even harder.

*note also the catastrophizing: Fern imagining the event as being disastrous. (In fact, imagining Shakespeare attending your reading and dissing you is some world-class catastrophizing! I’m actually a bit worried about the writer who came up with that script!)

If I were Fern’s mom, I would remind her that:

  • She’s written many wonderful stories, and will no doubt write many more: that no one story is very important, even if it happens to be heard by a famous writer.
  • Most writers follow the same path: that everyone was a beginner once, and that most people find it hard to show their work, especially to strangers, and especially to more “important” people who might judge them.
  • That she’s not just a writer, but a wonderful person who has a lot of other interests and accomplishments.
  • That this will only be one interesting event out of many, in many arenas, in her life.
  • That, regardless of the outcome of the reading, I will continue to love and respect and admire her as much as ever.

I would also encourage her to have fun writing her story and not worry about how it will be received. But if she is anxious about the event, I would work with her to help her create options for herself. Maybe she can ask the teacher if she can:

  • Read a prior work she feels confident about.
  • Read an excerpt from the story instead of the whole thing.
  • Have the teacher read her story.
  • Have other kids read their work as well. (Takes the pressure off her as the soloist, and creates lovely opportunities for the others.)
  • Not read at all.

How about it, parents! Did I get it right? Did I leave anything out? How would you support your kid if she or he were in Fern’s situation?

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On the Other Hand, This Little Duck Seems Plenty Empowered

Starting tomorrow, we’ll resume our normal non-duck-centric programming.
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“Mean” Duck Mom and Unhelpful Bystanders!

So…check out this video of a mother duck forcing her ducklings to jump down a high ledge onto a concrete walkway:

Ouch! I found it painful to watch.

The Mom Duck is just doing her thing, but I’ve seen similar videos where a kindly bystander finds a plank or other mechanism to give the baby ducks safe passage. (Some perfectionists, and I’m not kidding, would call that “cheating.”) Here the bystanders don’t, and I wish they had.

Whenever you witness yourself or someone else being disempowered try to create additional options.
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Tiger Moms Don’t Just Suck, They Don’t Even Exist as a Category

Slate writes up the study by University of Texas psychology professor Su Yeong Kim analyzing children of so-called Tiger Moms. Yes, “tiger parenting” stinks:

“Authoritarian parenting combines coercion with less responsiveness, and leads to higher depressive symptoms and lower self-esteem…. [they] produced kids who felt more alienated from their parents and experienced higher instances of depressive symptoms. They also had lower GPAs, despite feeling more academic pressure.”

Moreover, Kim found that, despite the hype, “Tiger Parents” don’t even exist as a dominant category of Asian-American parenting. So the whole concept is a racist fabrication.

I wrote about “Tiger Mom” Amy Chua here and here. Oh, and here.
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