Monday Dog: A Sweetie Who Knows His Worth

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Nonperfectionist Online Writing

Some good insights in this article on overcoming perfectionism. The author, psychologist Anna Deeds, also discusses how she overcame her perfectionist tendencies when writing online: When I started writing online, I used to read every post 5 or 6 times before I would publish it. You won’t get many posts complete if you read them over and over, trying to make them better. At some point you have to trust yourself and accept that you know what you are doing and you don’t have to make it perfect. Now, I write a post, use the spell check and publish it. I might review it once but never more than that. I was wasting too much time trying to make my posts perfect. The truth is there is no “perfect” and you will only drive yourself crazy trying to reach it. As I write about extensively in The 7 Secrets of the Prolific, online writing is more challenging that it looks. Here are just some of the considerations: *constant rejection and abuse; perfectionist, nit-picking culture *privacy and boundary concerns *short … [Read more...]

“A Good Death”

I had never looked closely for a long period at a dying person. I had never listened to the strained breathing of a body barely functioning and had never put my head beside a man too weak to speak, smelled his pungent breath and silently shared his day in, day out view of the white popcorn ceiling. It was when I put the camera down and became present that I could feel my fears melting away. With this deeper but calm proximity to death’s physical attributes, I contemplated my parents’ current and serious health concerns, as well as my own mortality. My consciousness became richer for it....We could use news of a good death. Not a tragic death or a famous death, just a good one, the kind that might happen to any of us if we are lucky. Link … [Read more...]

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family fights unproductively.

Useful tips on how to have a constructive dispute with your family. People tend to fight more during transitional times, like when you're leaving for/coming home from work. So work on staying cool during those times. (Time management, which will help you overcome the morning and evening rushes, can help.) Everyone should be sitting at the same level, preferably side-by-side, and with an open, receptive posture. No power plays! Sit on a cushion, not a hard chair! Believe or not, researchers have found that sitting on a hard chair tends to make people behave rigidly. Of course, use "I" statements. And lots more. … [Read more...]

“I was held captive by perfectionism.”

A short but vivid description of one woman's struggle. The writer gets so much right: that it's a trap that it often begins in childhood In high school: "I sat before my Spanish teacher in tears over a B+." Heavy involvement with ballet, an endeavor that "required excellence." As an adult, a perfectionist approach to housekeeping. "Self-worth based on performance and how others perceived me." Worth reading. … [Read more...]

“Pajama Days”

I love the term Pajama Days for days when you simply can't get motivated. … [Read more...]

Telling Your Future

OK, this guy sounds crazy or a scammer, but reading the article I realized a Future Telling machine is probably possible. If a computer has enough information about your past behavior (and one will, given the increasingly larger percentage of our lives we live on line) it will probably be able to predict your future behavior with some accuracy. Shouldn't be a surprise - this is the essence of what marketers do, for instance. However, marketers typically strive for pinpoint changes--getting you to buy product X--whereas the Future Telling machine will be able to sort through huge amounts of data to give you holistic predictions about your overall life's path. … [Read more...]

Vienna (with Lyrics)

Slow down you crazy child You're so ambitious for a juvenile But then if you're so smart tell me, Why are you still so afraid? (mmmmm) Where's the fire, what's the hurry about? You better cool it off before you burn it out You got so much to do and only So many hours in a day … [Read more...]

Daily Dog: More Dogs Allowed in Hospitals to Comfort Ill

A lovely development. When my dad was in a nursing home, we used to bring our basset Elvis to visit him. It took us forever to get to my dad's room because *everyone* wanted to say hello to Elvis. And Elvis, a typical friendly basset, had to stop and say hello to everyone. I can still picture his tail waving even while we were still out in the parking lot, in joyful anticipation. Some of the people who were withdrawn seemed to come out of their shells when Elvis stopped by. I had another friend who was sick and in an assisted living. His dog was the only one who could get him to eat! For every bite the puppy got, my friend had to eat one. … [Read more...]

Billboard Helps Man Find Kidney Donor

Too bad it has to come to this (in countries where the default is that you donate your organs, not that you don't there's no waiting list), but I'm glad he found someone. Kudos to the donor. … [Read more...]

Overcoming Procrastination So You Have a Chance to Save Someone’s Life

A terrific article by Sargent Janelle Dean about how she overcame procrastination to register as a bone marrow donor. Yes, there was a fear of needles, but after learning more about the procedure she realized it wasn't so bad. (The donation procedure, not the registry procedure, which is truly painless, involving just a few mouth swabs and some paperwork.) The whole article is interesting, but I found this compelling: "Perhaps the most awkward and difficult question to answer, for myself and for others was, "why would you be willing to go through that for a total stranger?" It took some soul searching to find an answer, but I realized the concept of saving a life often has the sense of immediacy and proximity. Many troops wouldn’t hesitate to come to the aid of a comrade in combat, particularly a close friend in very visible pain and distress. Registering to donate marrow to a stranger is more anonymous and impersonal, but the urgency is still very real." I'll be moving within the next few months, … [Read more...]

Nutrition vs. Deadline

              from my friend Deborah Underwood, who writes wonderful kids' books … [Read more...]

Daily Dog: Gus has a Strategy

              from dog-shaming, of course … [Read more...]

Procrastination is ALWAYS Caused

The big mistake people make when they try to solve their procrastination problem is assuming that they're something wrong with them - they're weak, lazy, undisciplined, etc. Then they beat themselves up trying to solve that problem. This article about how musician Hayley Williams was blocked for a couple of months perfectly illustrates that: "The 'Now' band released their self-titled fourth record this week, and lead singer Hayley admits the pressure of coming up with ideas for songs got to her, and she had to take time out. She said: ''I was in this crazy depression about [the album]. I moved out of my house into my mom's apartment because I didn't want to be by myself. ''But at the same time, we had not taken any time off since I was 16. We weren't used to waking up in our own beds every day and doing nothing, or maybe doing the same thing every day. ''It was the wildest time of my life, and it was also the most boring time of my life. ''I needed to sit back and just waste away for a … [Read more...]

Reverse Procrastination

From the very cute and clever Shoeboxblog and used with kind permission. … [Read more...]