Stuck? Lose The Label!

Here’s a useful piece by Austin Kleon on How to Keep Going: 10 Ways to Stay Creative in Chaotic Times. I like #3 a lot: “Forget the noun, do the verb.” Calling yourself a “writer,” “artist,” “entrepreneur,” “scientist,” or any other label can invite procrastination if you use that label perfectionistically. For example, if you think of a writer as someone who is supposed to: write many hours every single day sacrifice everything else to one’s art happily starve / live in a garret be smarter about all things writing-related than anyone in the room (or anywhere!) write fantastically all the time enjoy writing all the time Then you’re inevitably going to fall short, and feel miserable about it. Here are some other labels that get people into trouble: “good parent,” “ambitious,” and “dutiful child of hard-working parents.” In these cases, you should forget the adjective and do the verb! Needless to say, these kinds of unrealistic, romanticized, grandiose stereotypes are … [Read more...]

Dogs Don’t Like Perfectionism Either!

This piece by Nancy Tanner on how impatience ruins dog training is brilliant: When I am asked what is the biggest problem I see in dog training today, it is the same problem I saw fourteen years ago, and thirty years ago, it is the misunderstanding of time. It takes time to learn how to be a teacher to another species. It takes time to learn how to learn from another species. It takes time to build understanding. It takes time to learn how to observe and how to apply what you observe. It takes time to build a relationship with trust. It's not just dog training! Ask teachers of any craft or skill what their #1 challenge is with students, and the answer will inevitably be, "getting them to slow down." While (speaking generally) you want to do your work at a steady clip and not get bogged down on any one detail, you also don't want to rush through the important details--and they can take way longer to get right than many of us think (or want). Even now, after decades of serious writing, I'm … [Read more...]

A Self-Critical Paragon of Productivity

Last weekend, a woman with whom I was speaking on a business matter told me she was "really could use help" with her time management, citing as proof the fact that we were working over the weekend. She had forgotten, however, that the reason we were doing so wasn't because of anything she had done, but because I hadn't had a chance to return her call during the week. So here she was, blaming and condemning herself for something that wasn't even her fault! Along with pointing that out, I also pointed out that she did great at her complex and challenging job, a sign that, contrary to her words, she probably was a competent time manager. "This isn't even my main job!" she exclaimed. Turns out that she held a part-time job in addition to a rigorous full-time one AND was a single mother. I was astounded, and pointed out to her what would probably have been fairly obvious had she not been too negative: that, being competent in not just one but THREE enormous areas of responsibility was a strong indicator that … [Read more...]

The Welcome Debunking of “Grit”

I'm happy to report that "grit," that awful, victim-blaming concept, has largely been debunked. An Education Week piece by University of San Francisco psychology professor Christine Yeh reports that Grit author Angela Duckworth has been forced to walk back some of her book's key claims: “Much Ado about Grit: A Meta-Analytic Synthesis of the Grit Literature” by Marcus Crede and colleagues analyzed 88 separate studies on grit and raised three main concerns: The effect sizes in Duckworth’s research were inaccurately presented to appear larger, the influence of grit has been overstated, and the characteristic grit is not much different from the concept of conscientiousness—a concept already well-known and well-researched by psychologists.In a email exchange with NPR in which she responded to these criticisms, Angela Duckworth agreed that, although the statistics in her paper were factually accurate, the language was such that the effect of grit could be misconstrued as greater than it actually was. Secondly, … [Read more...]

When a Success Leaves You *Less* Able to Do Your Work

I use the term "situational perfectionism" to describe circumstances that cause your perfectionism to spike. A failure (or perceived failure) can do that, but so, paradoxically, can a success, especially if it causes you to feel more visible or scrutinized. J.K. Rowling experienced this after the exceptional success of the first Harry Potter book, but fortunately was able to move past it. Other writers aren't so lucky. From this week's obituary of writer Bette Howland: "In 1984 Ms. Howland received a MacArthur Foundation award — the so-called genius grant. But her literary output dried up. Jacob Howland sees the two things as related."“I think the award may have sapped her confidence,” he told the website Literary Hub in 2015. “If people don’t expect great things from you, it’s easier to please them. But people expect great things from a writer who has won the MacArthur.”" It's always best to approach projects with a "clean mental slate," as free as possible from past history and future … [Read more...]

Michelin Chef Says Non! to Relentless Competition

I was inspired by the news of the Michelin chef who has asked to be removed from the prestigious ratings system: "One of France’s most celebrated chefs, whose restaurant has been honoured with three stars in the Michelin guide for almost 20 years, has pleaded to be stripped of the prestigious ranking because of the huge pressure of being judged on every dish he serves. "Sébastien Bras, 46, who runs the acclaimed Le Suquet restaurant in Laguiole where diners look over sweeping views of the Aubrac plateau in the Aveyron while tasting local produce, announced on Wednesday that he wanted to be dropped from the rankings of France’s gastronomic bible. "Michelin said it was the first time a French chef had asked to be dropped from its restaurant guide in this way, without a major change of positioning or business model. "Bras said he wanted to be allowed to cook excellent food away from the frenzy of star ratings and the anxiety over Michelin’s anonymous food judges, who could arrive at his restaurant at … [Read more...]

How to Interrupt a Social Media “Ludic Loop”

"Ludic" is a cute word, and it means "showing a kind of spontaneous and undirected playfulness." A "ludic loop" is less cute, however. That's when you get stuck bouncing from one procrastination-enabling activity to another: e.g., from email to the Web to your social media feed to YouTube, and then back to email again, etc. Ludic loops can be really difficult to defeat, for a couple of reasons: They're not just fun--or, at least, distracting--but give you the illusion of productivity. And, They reward you intermittently--just like slot machines! So, every once in a while, you DO get a "worthwhile" email, Tweet, etc., and that keeps you hooked and waiting for more. Not all time spent on social media, etc., is necessarily ludic; and even if you do wind up in a loop sometimes it's not a big deal. Still, if left unchecked, ludic loops can eat up your time and life and happiness, so let's look at some solutions: 1) Figure out how much ludic stuff you want to do. When helping people budget their … [Read more...]

Research Agrees: You Should Use Money to Buy Time

Loved this piece from a couple of weeks ago, describing a study in which researchers found that people who pay others to do work they don't want to do are happier for it: "New research is challenging the age-old adage that money can't buy happiness. "The study, led by researchers at the University of British Columbia and Harvard Business School, suggests that using money to buy free time -- such as paying to delegate household chores like cleaning and cooking -- is linked to greater life satisfaction. "People who hire a housecleaner or pay the kid next door to mow the lawn might feel like they're being lazy," said study lead author Ashley Whillans, assistant professor at Harvard Business School who carried out the research as a PhD candidate in the UBC department of psychology. "But our results suggest that buying time has similar benefits for happiness as having more money." I've been preaching this for years, often getting pushback about the whole "laziness" thing, or from people who believe that … [Read more...]

Thank you Fast Company!

I'm kvelling! A few weeks ago a wonderful Fast Company writer, Stephanie Vozza, approached me for input into an article on how to be as productive as possible during the summer. I told her that I actually thought the opposite: that summer should be for relaxing, and, moreover, that in summer people often relax into their authentic selves. So the goal should really be to carry one's summer productivity habits and attitudes into the rest of the year, so one can live more joyfully and authentically all year long. It was a pretty contrarian view and, to be honest, I didn't expect Stephanie to rework her entire article around it. But that's exactly what she did! Huge props to her and also to her editor for approving the switch! The result is this article and I couldn't be prouder or more honored. I hope it inspires many people (including all of you, my FB friends) to live their summer life all year long. Many thanks to Stephanie and Fast Company! Also, here's a blog post in which I also explored this idea. … [Read more...]

Parenting Is Not a Zero Sum Game!

From Evelyn Tsitas, an exceptionally useful blog post about what it took for her to write her thesis: Admit it, if you are a mother, there is always that nagging voice somewhere – yours or some critic – that says ‘intense focus and study at the expense of much of everything else in your life will be bad for your young children.’ Rubbish. Low expectations, complacency and laziness* are limiting. Constantly pushing your boundaries and challenging your comfort zone, on the other hand, teach children not to be limited in their aspirations while at the same time reinforcing that anything worth achieving takes hard work, and sacrifice.If you are completing your doctorate and fretting about your children taking a back seat, don’t worry. The mum up late studying, turning down social invitations, spending holidays at the computer or university library may be absent from her children’s lives in some ways, but she is abundantly present in ways which matter in the long term. I can tell you first hand that far … [Read more...]

Self-Care Now More Than Ever!

Here's a reminder that self-care becomes even more important during stressful times. The need for self-care would seem obvious, except that some on the right deride people who ask for it as weak, and a culture that supports it as dysfunctional. That attitude diffuses into the general culture and causes people to feel guilty about wanting or needing self-care. Some good people also feel guilty for "taking time off" to care for themselves when there's important social justice work to be done or others in need of serious help. But your disempowering yourself through self-neglect isn't going to help anyone. (To paraphrase the airlines, you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before helping others.) Many successful activists (and others, of course) devote hours each day to exercise and other forms of self-care, which helps them maintain not just their health and energy, but motivation and focus. As the poet and activist Audre Lorde famously wrote: "Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is … [Read more...]

Select 2016 Blog Posts

Below is a list of select blog posts from 2016. Not surprisingly, many were on the topic of how to stay productive and otherwise cope during challenging times. Also, I want to remind you that coaching is a fun and empowering way to start the new year, and nothing catalyzes progress faster. I take on a few new coaching clients every season, and work especially well with people who like a compassionate, yet direct and efficient, approach. If you think you'd like to work with me please check out my coaching page. Thanks to everyone who supported me, professionally, personally, and politically, during 2016. We're in for some challenging times, but we'll get through them the way we always do: together. Many people in the U.S. and elsewhere have indicated a desire to be more politically active in 2017 and I will be providing tips for doing that in the next newsletter. What to do When Your Gingerbread House Collapses What's the Right Number of Drafts? How to Bingo Your Way to Fun … [Read more...]

What to Do When Your Gingerbread House Collapses

I have no idea what went through the mind of whoever built this gingerbread house when it collapsed. But I'm guessing she (or he) didn't get all self-critical and perfectionist about it. Perfectionism is an obstacle to creative problem solving, admirably on display here. Happy holidays, and remember that the secret ingredient is always compassionate objectivity (nonperfectionism). … [Read more...]

“My Productivity Has Increased Tenfold.”

A heartfelt thanks to artist and coaching client Sonja Cillié for the below testimonial on our recent work together: "I have benefited tremendously from our coaching sessions. My productivity has increased tenfold. When I come across a barrier now it doesn't derail me completely anymore, I can get back on track the same or at the very least the next day. I am very aware of my perfectionistic thoughts and am able to be more compassionate (most of the time)." Coaching will help you get your new year off to a productive and confident start. All coaching begins with a $375 Needs Analysis / Action Planning Process, and that may, in fact, be all you need! Sign up now, or learn more about my coaching here. Also, order a paperback copy of The 7 Secrets of the Prolific directly from me and I'll custom-autograph it for you or the person of your choice. (You'll also get an e-copy!) Be sure to write the desired inscription in the memo section of your order form. (You can also get it from Amazon and iTunes, of … [Read more...]

What’s the Right Number of Drafts?

"What's the right number of drafts?" Meaning: how many drafts does it take to produce a polished piece of work? When I ask that question during workshops, people usually reply between two and five. (People who are familiar with my work and think they know where I'm heading usually answer with a higher number.) But if there's a journalist, or former journalist, in the class, they always give the right answer: "As many as it takes." I guess journalists are taught this by their teachers and mentors. I was reminded of this by a recent article on writing by the brilliant Rebecca Solnit in which she mentions, "I’ve seen things that were amazing in the 17th version get flattened out in the 23rd." I imagine some readers were all: "Wait--what? 17 drafts?! 23 drafts?!!!" For me, 17 is nothing. I probably rewrite every word of my books two or three dozen times. Even "simple" blog posts like this one get rewritten five or ten times. This sounds like a lot of work, and it is. But it might not be as much … [Read more...]