Solving Problems vs. Dithering Over Them
Q. In your talk, you discussed the importance of solving problems as opposed to dithering over them. What's the difference, and what exactly does dithering mean?
A. Solving a problem means taking specific actions that lead to change. These include observing the problem, precisely defining it, developing a strategy to solve it, testing the strategy, refining the strategy, implementing the strategy, and evaluating success.
Dithering includes all the _other_ things you do about your problems, including worrying, feeling guilty, beating yourself up, complaining to family and friends, and feeling sorry for yourself.
Dithering is pernicious. It offers the illusion that you are solving your problem, so that you donâ€™t have to feel guilty for ignoring it. It also offers the illusion that you are making progress, so that you donâ€™t have to feel like youâ€™ve given up hope. But dithering doesnâ€™t really solve your problem. The hallmark of dithering is that, no matter how long or seriously you do it, the problem never gets solved. Sadly, this is true even in cases where a person dithers for decades, or his or her whole life.
How do you know when youâ€™re dithering versus solving? Easy: if youâ€™ve been working to solve your problem, but making no progress, youâ€™re probably dithering. Even the toughest problem is solvable, at least to some degreeâ€”and, as I discuss in _The Lifelong Activist_, it often takes only a small amount of solving to make noticeable progress. If, therefore, you are making no progress you are almost certainly dithering.
Another difference between dithering and solving is that dithering tends to focus on the problem, while solving focuses on the solution. That isnâ€™t an absolute rule, because part of what you do to solve a problem is characterize and analyze it. But if all you are doing is thinking about how miserable the problem is making you, and youâ€™re not devoting any time or other resources to a solution, then you are dithering.
Another difference is that dithering tends to occur in isolation. You do it yourself, in the privacy of your own room, or the privacy of your own thoughts. When you confide in others, you use those conversations more to vent, or to see your own ideas and emotions echoed back at you, than to observe, define, etc. Maybe you donâ€™t even listen very closely to what the people you are talking to are saying, or ignore their advice.
Solving, on the other hand, usually involves other peopleâ€”and not just your friends, but professionals such as a doctor, therapist, spiritual advisor, twelve-step sponsor, teacher or mentor. And, often, more than one of those. And instead of using these people as an echo-chamber to reflect your own thoughts and feelings back at you, you listen closely to what they are saying and do your best to follow their advice.
Because many procrastinators tend to be ashamed and insecure, they have a natural inclination toward isolation. But most of lifeâ€™s toughest problems, including procrastination, can only be solved with the help of a community.
Why would anyone waste time dithering when they could be solving their problem? In some cases, it may be because they donâ€™t know that they are, in fact, dithering: they think they are solving. But it could also be that they donâ€™t really want to solve their procrastination problem: that, despite their feverish desire for self-improvement, they nevertheless feel a stronger desire to maintain the status quo. The reason someone would do that is usually fear: fear of change, fear of failure, fear of success.