How About We Not Be Perfectionist During a Pandemic?

Sorry I've been quiet: I've been finishing my latest book, Productivity is Power: 5 Liberating Practices for College Students. I'll have more to share on that shortly. I'm compelled to write now, however, because there's been a spate of posts by people who seem to think that shaming others for their supposed underproductivity during a pandemic is useful. It's not! To be clear, memes like this AREN'T HELPFUL:                 And tweets like this AREN'T HELPFUL: Just a reminder that when Shakespeare was quarantined because of the plague, he wrote King Lear. — rosanne cash (@rosannecash) March 14, 2020 Implicit in the above, as in most perfectionist statements, is a comparison. Perfectionists will compare themselves to anyone—famous, obscure, living, dead—and on any criterion (looks, wealth, popularity, productivity, etc.). They'll even compare themselves to themselves at a higher level of performance (e.g., their … [Read more...]

The “Tiger Mom” Revisited

I've written before about Amy "Tiger Mom" Chua and her odious 2011 book The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, the thesis of which is that you should punish, humiliate, and otherwise coerce your kids into being high achievers. As I wrote at the time it was published: A few weeks ago [Chua] had a firestorm of publicity around her book, The Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, in which she boasts of her authoritarian and coercive parenting methods, which include not only insisting that her daughters follow a narrow course of “success-oriented” classes and activities, but punishing them harshly – via withholding, threats and insults – when they don’t toe the line or achieve top-level success. (For instance, she deprives them of bathroom breaks, threatens to burn their toys, and calls them “garbage.”) She got a major boost when The Wall Street Journal featured her in an admiring article. What Chua considered her branded form of tough-love parenting, however, many considered nothing more than child abuse. There … [Read more...]