The Difference Between High Standards and Perfectionism

Where does "high standards" end and perfectionism begin? When it starts to cost you. A recent New York Times piece by Karen Crouse recounts the trials of figure skater Gracie Gold, an Olympic contender who suffered mental illness, including eating disorders, in large part from the pressures of competing.  Gold's perfectionism, according to the article, started early. "Throughout [her] childhood, she was fixated on being first, and flawless. In the classroom, she would furiously, and tearfully, erase an entire sentence if she misspelled a single word. By second grade, she had found an outlet for her compulsiveness, taking formal skating lessons at a rink near the family home in Springfield, MO." The absolute hardest thing I have to teach people is that perfectionism never helps and always hurts. The lesson can be hard to take in because: Perfectionism--whether in the form of harshness, punishments, and/or deprivation--has a superficial logic. "Just work harder, Sally!" Or, "No breaks till you're … [Read more...]